The Secret of Success

I received a request recently from a friend to write about “Success”. My friend and I work in the same field, and we both face a similar challenge: whilst it is evident if we are successful in meeting any specific goals we set for ourselves, how do we measure our “success” on a daily basis? What does it mean to be successful? And how do we know when we’ve done enough?

As I’ve pondered over the idea of “success” during the last few days, I’ve had to accept  the realization that success is entirely subjective. Perhaps some people determine success in terms of the number of something produced or completed, or the amount of money earned, or the amount of votes gained. But for many of us in the “people professions” there is no assessment where we can tick some boxes and quickly determine our level of achievement. Success can never be quantified by task completion because there are always more tasks to complete; we never, ever get to the bottom of the to-do list because there are always more conversations to be had, needs to be met and lives to try to impact. We feel like we can never do enough.

And if we’re not careful, the business of busyness rears it’s ugly head: we quickly get caught up in the idea that being busy is somehow equivalent to pursuing a life of purpose and we delve deeper into trying to prove ourselves by doing as much as we can, regardless of the quality of our tasks, or the quality of our own lives in the process. We become addicted to trying to get things done, because we equate quantity with success.

Public Service Announcement: if we continue to lead lives of overcommitment and overstimulation, we are never going to get to the bottom of the to-do list. We can’t measure success by the number of things we did that day; we must measure success by the ways in which we added value to the lives of people around us, or how we added it to our own lives.

There is an author and educator in the field of Alzheimer’s Disease/Dementia Care called Jolene Brackey who teaches the idea of creating “moments of joy”. Individuals with advanced dementia cannot remember what happened two minutes or two days ago, nor can they anticipate future events; they literally live in the moment. Ms. Brackey suggests that caregivers, family members and friends should try to create as many moments of joy for their loved one with dementia as possible by doing things with them that make them happy in that moment – because feelings last the way that memories do not,

How many moments of joy did you create today through your actions and interactions? How many people did you encourage to smile today? How many people were grateful for your time? How many people felt happy, comforted or inspired after being in your company or after having a conversation with you?

It’s a horrible cliche, but sometimes the secret to success is simply making a difference. We can’t be everything to everyone or make all the difference, but we can add value to our own lives by having positive influence in the lives of others. And to our Chosen Few, we are enough – they love us for who we are, not for what we can achieve.